A few years ago, just after we got Felicity, while she was still a tiny kitten, our neighborhood had a mouse outbreak.
It started in the camilla hedge a few houses down, and a week later, we had a mouse in our kitchen.
So of course I needed to get rid of it, and Felicity wasn’t big enough to do the job, so we needed a mousetrap.
I didn’t want to use poison because of Felicity and the possibility of the mouse dying in the walls if it worked.
Double ick and eww.
And I didn’t want to use a snap trap because of Felicity and the probability of dead mouse spilling guts and goo if it worked.
Triple ick and eww.
So, what I needed was one of those nifty little box moustraps that traps the mouse alive and lets you release it a couple of miles down the road, thus inflicting it on someone else.
So off I went to the hardware store. No dice. Nothing but the ick snap guts and goo ones.
Same story at the garden centre, the sell-everything-made-in-China store, and the other hardware store in my neighborhood.
So after a couple of hours of unsuccessful searching, I got grumpy, went home, and got start and started calling places rather than visiting them in person.
Four stores later, I finally called my local grocery store, and they guy at customer service said “yeah, sure, of course we have live mouse traps”
So I popped into the car, and was there in 10 minutes.
I went straight to the hardwares and mousetrap aisle, and looked, and looked, and looked. Nothing but the ick snap guts and goo ones.
So…back to the customer service desk, where I explained that I had just called asking about live mousetraps. They said “Oh, we know exactly who you talked to”, called him over and he said “I’ll show you right where the live mouse traps are”
Back we went to exactly where I had been looking before, and he points at the ick snap guts and goo ones.
And I say “But those aren’t live mousetraps. They kill the mouse when they snap down.”
And he says:
(wait for it)
“But the mouse is live when the trap catches it”