Felicity
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The Rules According to Felicity

Felicity the sewing cat thedreamstress.com

#1 Thou Shalt Not Touch the Tummy

I will show it off all I want, but your fingers and my tums better not make contact. The Leimomi-Person is allowed to kiss it, but no-one else is.

Felicity the Sewing Cat thedreamstress.com

#2 Thou Wilt Be Slept With

If you take a nap in the house, I take a nap with you. At least for a little bit. No matter how exciting the other things going on are. That’s the rule.

#3 If Multiple Beds are Occupied I Sleep With the Leimomi-Person

Sometimes when the Leimomi-Person or the Man-Person is nice and warm and makes lots of annoying cough-y bark-y sounds the other one sleeps in the guest bedroom. The Leimomi-Person must be slept with, so I sleep with her no matter what bed she’s in.

Felicity the cat thedreamstress.com

#4 Guests Must Be Greeted

If you knock and stand outside the front door talking to the People you are not a guest. You are an Interloper and should be viewed with caution and suspicion from behind the safety of the Person. If you stand in the entry and talk with the Person you are a Visitor and should be inspected carefully, but not greeted. If you are asked into the lounge you are a Guest, and will be greeted with meeps and a demand to sniff you hand – preferably from a vantage point as near to your height as possible, like a couch arm or the coffee table.

One of her favourite people

#5 Thou Shalt Not Say ‘No’

The Leimomi-Person is very bad and is always breaking this rule. Particularly when I’ve found an especially nice pattern or bit of fabric to practice my scratching on.

Grumpy Felicity, thedreamstress.com

#6 If it’s on the Floor, it’s Mine to Scratch

The Leimomi-Person does not understand this rule, and is always breaking Rule #5 in regards to it, particularly when a lovely Guest who I have properly greeted has set their lovely expensive leather handbag on the floor as an offering to The Claws.

#7 If Thou has been out of the House for more than Four Hours Thou Must Immediately Present The Lap

I have missed The Lap. I must make sure it is still there, and as good as I remember it.

Felicity on my lap

#8 Thou Shalt Not Offer Me Any Fish but The Tuna

It doesn’t matter if it is fresh, tinned, or dried and flaked, I eats The Tuna. The Leimomi-Person has stopped eating all the fish, and while I don’t care about The Salmon or The Warehou or The Gurnard, I miss The Tuna.

#9 Thou Shalt Let Me Sniff-Inspect Thine Food

I don’t want to eat it, I just want to know what it is. Don’t make me have to climb up to where you are eating and pull your hand over in front of my nose with my paw, but I will if I have to.

#10 Food-Only Places are Forbidden. Sewing Places are Allowed

Sewing never goes on the kitchen benchtops, so I never go on the kitchen benchtops. Sometimes the Leimomi-Person puts sewing on the dining room table and the coffee table, so I go on the dining room table and the coffee table. The Leimomi-Person tried to break Rule #5 about this, but she’s given up.

#11 Thou Shalt Not Wear a Fluro Vest

Fluro safety vests are an abomination unto Felicity, and if I see a person in one I’ll hiss and spit at them. I’ve never told the Leimomi-Person why, but I have my reasons…

#12 Thou Shalt Not Play Animal Sounds from Thy Tappy Lap-Warming Machine

I know those meows and birdsongs aren’t real, and I’ll only give you my most withering look.

Felicity the cat the dreamstress.com

#13 The Bed Must be Entered from the Man-Person’s bedside table

It is the right and proper way. If you dump me off the bed on the Leimomi-Person’s side I’ll walk around, hop back up to the MP’s bedside table, back on to the bed from there.

#14 Bedtime is 10pm

Why do you naughty people keep staying up later, making me hang out in the hallway, reminding you with meeps, and herding you to bed? Just go to bed at the proper time!

And since it’s bedtime, I’ll end this here…

Felicity the Sewing Cat thedreamstress.com

18 Comments

  1. Meira Bear says

    Too funny! I always wonder what pets make of their people’s habits.

  2. Sharon says

    Well, at leastshe gave you a list. Wow, she’s got quite a list! Dogs are much simpler: “1.Hi.” She is precious.

  3. Mariana says

    My cat is outraged to hear Miss Felicity is cruelly deprived of tuna, as it’s his favorite source of Omega 3 as well. Thank you for the post!

  4. nofixedstars says

    Feline Overlord Felicity sounds very familiar to me… ah, well. they know what they want, and they know how to get it, and we probably knew that when we entered their service. and who could resist such a beautiful floof as pictured above? not me!

  5. Claire Payne says

    Oh Miss Fissy! Thou art divine! We don’t have quite the same rules in our house but we too are herded to bed around 10pm. The photo accompanying #5 made me laugh. I call the ears pointing backwards position the “disgruntled ears” which usually follow “the big, bad no”. As you may recall, I also have exclusive access to Cwtch’s tum for kisses. No one else is allowed. Aren’t we the special ones? 😉 Thank you so much for sharing this Felicity post. It made my day.

  6. Julia says

    Such a nice kitty. I wish mine would let me pick her up and put her on my lap but that’s a no no. Strangely enough though, touching the belly is fine. She’s a weird cat, but I like her.

  7. Cute! Hard to resist that fluffy tum, I can imagine.

    One of our cats insists on the Lap being made available on demand; the other insists the cat of the first part – if present – be covered with a blanket before she will condescend to sit on the Lap also.

  8. Love the photo at#12 she actually leaves you a hand to do the tappy stuff with!!!! Love those stampers !!!

    • We have a very carefully negotiated agreement about the tappy machine and cuddles – we’ve worked out a system where she gets the latter on demand, but I can still use the former! 😉

  9. Steph says

    Haha! We have a whippet (very cat-like, and I expect very similar rules apply) to whom we are Girlperson and Boyperson (Girl and Boy for short).

  10. Miss Felicity, you are both organized and persuasive, an August Presence. Nutty Nutmeg here on the back of my chair (also a fluffball calico) says she should put up her rules where we can see them, too, and why she hasn’t thought of that obvious strategy, is probably to do with how frightfully busy she is pilfering the boy’s smaller toys to play with them and pawing us on very gently to say she must have a treat — yes, the kind in the cabinet that is good to chase, no, not the other one, which is Old Hat.

  11. Oh my stars- Miss Felicity is absolutely adorable! This post made my day, when I first saw it and it’s inspired me to look through all the posts with her! It’s been a most delightful venture into your wonderful blog, with plenty of sidetracking into adjacent posts- thank you so much for your creativity, research, insights and knowledge!

  12. Christina Kinsey says

    Oooooooh she is so sweet, so fluffy and she knows she is boss too, bless her

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