Ever wanted to be shorter? Any taller gals out there like me ever wished they could be petite, or just average? Not loom over every guy in the room? Not have to shop for special pants because the ordinary ones only came to your shins?
Well, I have figured out how to loose height, INSTANTLY. Over the internet! Using rainforest herbs (for a given value of rainforest herbs). For FREE (while supplies last).
It’s super easy.
Just measure yourself in centimetres (yep, those funny little things on the back of the tape measure).
Then go to this top-secret website I found called Google.com.
Then type in your measurement in cm and ‘in feet’. Like this:
Then stand back, and admire the result.
An instant loss of over 2″ in height!
It’s like magic!
I did it for myself, and suddenly, instead of being a tallish 5’7″ like I always thought, I’ve become the totally average American woman’s height of 5’5″!
Now I’m off to find the magic calculator that will do the same thing to our width, and the reverse one that will bits of us bigger, and then I will OWN THE INTERNET.
(OK, OK, so they are decimalizing (or as I like to say, decimating) feet, but that’s not how you measure feet!)