Loose height instantly!

Ever wanted to be shorter?  Any taller gals out there like me ever wished they could be petite, or just average?  Not loom over every guy in the room?  Not have to shop for special pants because the ordinary ones only came to your shins?

Well, I have figured out how to loose height, INSTANTLY.  Over the internet!  Using rainforest herbs (for a given value of rainforest herbs).  For FREE  (while supplies last).

It’s super easy.

Just measure yourself in centimetres (yep, those funny little things on the back of the tape measure).

Then go to this top-secret website I found called Google.com.

Then type in your measurement in cm and ‘in feet’.  Like this:

Google's height calculator is wrong thedreamstress.com

Then stand back, and admire the result.

An instant loss of over 2″ in height!

It’s like magic!

I did it for myself, and suddenly, instead of being a tallish 5’7″ like I always thought, I’ve become the totally average American woman’s height of 5’5″!

Google's height calculator is wrong thedreamstress.com

Now I’m off to find the magic calculator that will do the same thing to our width, and the reverse one that will bits of us bigger, and then I will OWN THE INTERNET.

(OK, OK, so they are decimalizing (or as I like to say, decimating) feet, but that’s not how you measure feet!)


  1. Anfinwen says

    Thank you! I love this.
    If you think 5’7″ is bad, imagine what it’s like up here at 5′ 10″! trying to find a guy taller than me when I wear even a slight heel is nearly hopeless. (And I frequently wear 4″ heels, because they are so pretty, and I just can’t help it!)
    Thanks to you I am now 5′ 8″ and I actually know how tall I am in meters.

  2. Tegan says

    I’ll bite. How is this wrong? I looked at the pic, and it seemed like a conversion happened, although I have to really restrain myself from seeing 5.9 as something other than 5’9″.

    • Well, a conversion did happen, but decimalising feet is an unusual, and completely unhelpful, way to convert meters into feet. Feet are measured in increments of 12! They aren’t decimalised.

      We discovered this calculator because a friend needed to note her height in feet and inches for an American form – we plugged in the measure, and I said “that’s weird, it’s saying your 5.6 but you are definitely taller than me!” Then we tried me, and then we figured out it was decimalising, but I can imagine it catches a lot of people out!. And let’s just say that if this friend had put 5.6xxx on her form, there is no agency that would accept that as a valid measure, rather than 5’8″. So wrong, because it’s effectively unusable.

      • Tegan says

        OH. Ok. I had thought it was supposed to be doing a conversion wrong, and I didn’t know enough math to check it! 😛

      • Elise says

        I’ve spent a third of my life in metric countries, but can’t figure out centimeter height for the life of me. Now I know to be afraid of faulty calculators, too!

  3. Carol Butsko says

    I am 5’11” and would not wish to be a fraction of an inch shorter! Stand tall and flaunt your stature! Of course that is also my advice for my shorter friends.

    I have a triptych of photos of my 4′ 8″ grandmother. I often look at those photos and am struck at her presence, she was standing tall!

  4. Lynne says

    I wanted to be taller. I was once 5’4″, and was highly indignant to be told by the doctor that I’d shrunk half an inch! Flaunt it, tall women! Enjoy!

  5. Yes, it is head achinlgy unhelpful! I don’t even know the math to convert the decimalised number to an actual inches based number. ridonculous.

    • Adela says

      A decimal is a fraction in base 10. It is x/tenths, hundredth, and so on. So a .6 foot would be 6/10ths or 3/5ths of a foot aka approx 7 and a 1/8th inches(less than 1/4 but more than 1/16). Alternatively just go 12 x .6 or 12 x 60%

  6. Too funny! I could use one of these in real life – since at 6 feet tall and being an actress, the height is quite a drawback in getting cast for lead roles…

    • There are a few drawbacks aren’t there! Mostly I think being tall is awesome but when I was a teenager and shot up I really wanted to be shorter!

  7. Huh. HUH.
    And here I trusted Google to convert things for me. I guess my inches approach with calculator is still better; I just can’t remember how to deal with the other measurements.

    • I think a lot of people do! And if you aren’t familiar with both metres and feet, it’s really easy to get caught out by this one!

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